A rope and a bottle of water ?

Oh I see- you think you might be interested in doing some spiritual mountain climbing huh?

He’s giving me just a rope and a bottle of water?

Yeah- um- mind reader.  Trust me that’s all you need.

But- but – how the fuck am I going to get to the top with just this shit?

Oh- you wanna go to the top!?  Where all the fancy doodads are? - Bliss. Cosmic Consciousness. Heaven. Supreme Enlightenment. Maybe hang out with your dead Aunt Martha or Elvis ? ... Fuck the top.  We’re going - over there.

Over ... where?  I don’t see where you’re pointing?

See that small dirty worn door on the side of the mountain?

Oh- yeah-  I guess so -sort-of.

That’s where we’re going.  Into the mountain- not to the top.

But I wanna go to the-

I know. I know. Trust me. There is NO TOP. It’s all a bullshit scam.  You cannot get to the top by climbing up the side, because- YOU are the top. YOU are the mountain.

Huh? I’m confused.

Excellent- good… beginner’s mind.

Okay- so what’s through that door?

Monsters, dragons, goblins. Scary shit.

Great. Now I’m really-

You in or not?

I guess. Can I at least have a flashlight?

No badass. I’m the flashlight. Tie this rope around your waist. Hang on tight.  This my friend, is going to be the adventure of your life...